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SEXUAL FITNESS
Relationship expert Dr Rajan Bhonsle suggests that staying sexually fit is also an integral part of feeling fit. After all, fitness is a state of complete wellbeing at the physical as well as the emotional level, and sex plays a vital role in this. Research shows that good sex can relieve stress and anxiety, thus instilling you with positive thoughts!
CHALLENGE YOURSELF
As fitness goals move beyond mere weight loss, experts note that more people are setting up definitive challenges. Fitness goals are very specific now, like running a marathon by October or achieving a full split in two months or doing 40 surya namaskars in 30 minutes. Everything is now set as a specified goal shared with all, so that you make it a point to meet it.
Fitness expert Jeremy Cheong is in a fix. Why? Nine out of 10 people come to his gym to gain/lose weight only on/from a specific body part... Nowhere else, only there! As if that’s not all, the gym trainer has to pander to requests for developing a Katrina figure or SRK/ Aamir abs. He’s baffled by these popular concepts of fitness. “It seems getting a stick-thin figure for girls and eightpack abs for guys remain vital criteria for survival in the peer group,” notes psychiatrist Dr Jitendra Nagpal. Fitness still remains rather context-dependent. Our notion of fitness is the marathon runner, the endurance athlete or the screen king who manages to sprout overnight abs! And so, popular fitness role models are the ones who can flaunt a perfect 10 in a bikini. Why we don’t see these ‘fit’ people performing some everyday tasks remains a mystery. After all, fitness is now functional! As Jeremy says, “Fitness is not only about speed, power, agility and endurance. It is about having extra energy to do your daily tasks. A fitness regime should be as important to everyone as sleep is to the body. That preparation to endure day-today tasks without fatigue is fitness.”
LOOKS QUITE FIT
The legit definition of ‘fitness’ is a readiness to perform a desired task. So, if you ever feel bad about yourself when you watch the all-important swimsuit round in a pageant, don’t! Because you never see these so-called fit women running an obstacle course or jogging three miles with a loaded backpack. Let’s see them do some pull-ups or push-ups or simply swim in the ocean. Let’s see them do everyday work. Actor and now a fitness expert Rahul Dev says, “People don’t have a concept of fitness. What they perceive as fit is fit-looking, not fit.” But he doesn’t blame them. After all, that’s all they get to see. “A six-pack is just a great visual but it’s your ability to do things with your body that makes you fit like simply lifting your own body weight in pull-ups (12–13 is the average for a middle-aged man),” he mentions.
Agrees yoga and wellness expert Deepika Mehta. “A toned body is not necessarily a fit body. What you need is a functionally fit body, which means that you should be able to move your body in different ways—twist, turn, jump, run, jog, walk—with lots of energy.” For her too, fitness is in your day-to-day activities.
FIT FOR WHAT?
By that definition, while running a marathon is fit for someone, it’s not fitness for all. Because just like looking fit and being fit are two different things, even the latter is condition-specific. A tennis player’s fitness doesn’t suit a marathoner’s or a cricketer’s or, for that matter, even an actor’s. They need to be fit for their respective activities. That’s why fitness must now answer the big question: “Fit for what?” For Rahul, if there’s anyone in the film industry who epitomises fitness, it’s Akshay Kumar. Not Aamir, not SRK. Akshay is what functional fitness is all about. “He may not have the best-looking body but even today if you ask him to jump from 20–30 feet with precision, he will, and not just as daredevilry.”
Want an example closer home? Imagine if your office elevator conks out and you have to climb a few flights of stairs. Sensible shoes aside, are you fit enough to do so on demand? Vikram Aditya Bhatia of Fitness First India says that the tangible ways of judging fitness are these: Doing your tasks without panting or straining the joints and having some strength left at the end of the day. “Being able to lift heavy weights is no guide to fitness!” he says.
HEALTH WISE
With the hype over size zero, fab abs and certain role models, people are bound to be confused about fitness. Cardiologist Dr Upendra Kaul clears the fog: “If all your organs function well and your mind is strong enough to handle daily stress, you are fit.” That simple, eh? It is, in fact. Even the World Health Organisation recognises fitness as not only the absence of infirmity and disease but also a state of physical, mental and social well-being. Mental fitness is an important part of being fit. Take
Aakash, 27. This worried marketing exec wasn’t feeling too fit. So he got a battery of health tests done. All reports read absolutely fine. It was found that he was feeling unwell due to workplace stress! Psychiatrist Dr Sanjay Chugh says, “Since the definition of fitness now has broadened to include mental well being, many physically fit people are facing trouble because they haven’t paid much attention to the mental aspects.” That’s why some people who aren’t too fit physically do better than the former because they’re mentally healthier. This is
why holistic health options are gaining ground. Psychiatrist Dr Deepak Raheja advocates this ‘going back to nature’ approach. “To understand fitness, one has to understand the opposite state of disease. We now know that every disease has a bio-psycho-social cause,” he says. Bio deals with the body, psycho with the mind and social with the environment—and any imbalance in the three can make you unfit.
The holistic approach is still far from realised though, as physical fitness is still more in demand. “But it’s heartening to see that fitness is not a luxury now, but a necessity,” says
Dr Nagpal. And Deepika is happy about more people focusing on inner happiness than how they look. As Vikram concludes, “Fitness is not an end result. Don’t go to gym to lose 5” off the belly or gain 2” on the biceps. Go to work out to strengthen your body to face life.” It’s always life first—fitness will follow!
They Are Challenging Patriarchal Interpretations Of The Sharia
Naish Hasan was a college student in Ayodhya when the Babri Masjid was demolished. Some of her family died in the bloody riots that followed. Afterwards, when she was asked at a college discussion to suggest a suitable structure to build at ground zero, Hasan insisted it should be a monument without religion. She did not realize that her views would cause her co-religionists to criticize her.
“They came to my house many times and even hurled abuses at my father saying that he had a gairmusalmaan (non-muslim) daughter,” says Hasan, who is now 35. “And that’s when I realized it was not my statement that created furore but the fact that a woman had dared to voice an opinion.”
Unsurprisingly, Hasan went on to found the Bhartiya Muslim Mahila Andolan (BMMA), one of two NGOs working for Muslim women across India. She also made history of sorts when she became the first woman in the 1,400 years that Islam has existed to be married by a woman cleric.
Syeda Saiyyadain Hameed, a Islamic scholar and member of the Planning Commission played the role of qazi (clergy) at Hasan’s wedding. Hasan’s repeated attempts to break down traditional barriers has not been without its perils. She is heavily criticized. But she remains unfazed. “Sharia law is manmade and has evolved over time. It is time for women to get their right place in that evolution,” she says.
Perhaps she has a point. Muslim women are increasingly demanding their rightful place in Muslim Personal Law. The numbers tell half the story: Hasan’s NGO, the BMMA, is just two-anda-half years old and it already has 10,000 members in 15 states. Its membership is drawn from every economic strata of society.
It represents the Indian face of Islamic feminism, a Quran-centred reform movement that is increasingly challenging patriarchal interpretations of Muslim women’s place in society. Islamic feminists are critical of women’s subordinate legal status and social position. They argue that it is mostly custom that forces women to suffer this second-rung status.
In India, which has the world’s second-largest Muslim population, Islamic feminists say they are trying to achieve gender equality in Muslim Personal Law mentioned in the Indian constitution.
There is more. Madhu Mehra, member of Partners for Law and Development, says that organizations like BMMA and the Muslim Women’s Rights Network are effective because they provide informal forums to women.
“These work like the jaati panchaayats. We all know how powerful community-based forums are in this country,” she says. Mehra says that Islamic feminism is not just working for women, it also provides an alternate view of (political) Islam in a country that runs on identity politics.
The Indian Islamic feminists reflect a global stirring. Musawah, the Arabic word for equality, is a global movement for equality and justice within the Muslim family. Its launch in Malaysia last month was attended by 350 men and women from around the world.
Shilpa Kashlekar Nipunge of Mumbai’s Women’s Research and Action Group, was one of the participants.
She says, “It was a landmark moment. To meet so many people with the same agenda from around the world makes you feel there is hope for your cause.” Mehra says that much needs to be done by India’s Islamic feminists.
Sharifa Khanum, president of STEPS Women’s Development Organisation, which has tried to set up the first mosque and jamaat for women, says: “One of the biggest problems that Muslim women face in India is that staterun institutions, like the police, do not listen to them saying that because Muslims have their own personal law.”
She adds that “insecure men refused our request to have female representation in jamaats, so we formed our own. Now it is 15000-member strong”.
HOW do you know who is the right man for you, was the plaintive question a colleague, Ritu, just entering her 30’s asked the other day. Under pressure from her parents to get married within the year, she despaired of finding the right guy and dreaded ending up with the wrong one.
Actually, how do you know who’s right or wrong for you? Surprisingly one finds more women than men debating this question. You hardly ever come across a man scared of being hitched up with the wrong woman. Or at least not one who openly expresses this fear. Women are more commitment phobic these days. It used to be a man’s problem, but today many women don’t get into matrimony for fear of getting attached to the wrong partner. What goes on in a girl’s mind when she is seriously considering the ‘M’ question?
Shilpa, a professional who is unmarried at 32, says, “What holds me back is the fear that a man I like may be pretending to be somebody quite different from what he really is; how is one to know? It’s one thing to enjoy a cup of coffee with a guy and quite another to commit the next 40-45 years of your life to him!” She doesn’t feel as paranoid about striking a new friendship or getting a new job. “Well, of course not,” she says, you can always walk away from a friend or a job; the emotional commitment isn’t so high, but not so from a husband and a family!”
Amrita, a colleague who at 36, is yet to tie the knot, says, “My fears stem from a lot of ‘what ifs’... it’s like you want to know or sort out issues before you actually marry, later will be too late! Is he a cribber? Is he honest? Does he have a sense of integrity? What if I end up tied to a man who is a big bore!”
When Hillary Clinton was asked how she knew that Bill Clinton was her one true love, she replied, “How does anybody know about love? If you can describe it, you may not fully be experiencing it…..My husband is my best friend. We have an endless conversation...we never get bored.”
A lady bureaucrat, Pooja, now happily married with a daughter, recalls how determined she was to satisfy the “inner romantic” within her. “I had to find ‘Mr Right’; the only other option, which didn’t seem too bad either, was to stay unmarried. I could support myself, my time and space were my own; what did I need a man for except perhaps for companionship and to enhance the quality of a life I already led?”
“It had to be someone who shared a general sense of compatibility with me, someone who enjoyed and could share what I wanted of my life. He had to share my value system and be a man I could respect; or at least someone I couldn’t just dismiss; someone who was not unintelligent…”
Note the way the selection process became one of elimination rather than selection for Pooja. She wanted an intelligent guy, but would have been happy with one who was “not unintelligent.” A guy she could respect, or at least, as she put it, someone she “couldn’t just dismiss.”
Sometimes the choice becomes easier by first eliminating what you just will not accept in a life companion rather than looking for the qualities you want. For instance, if you are clear you will not be able to respect a guy with a squeaky voice, or a man who finds it difficult to smile, or someone who drinks or smokes, those are the things to watch out for and clarify first, and the rest follows.
Coming back to how does one know, most women who have met their destined men, insist that you just know. “It’s a feeling,” Pooja tries to explain. When she did meet her soulmate, she describes it as “a gentle feeling… he was bright and fun loving. I knew men… I had enough friends and batchmates… but what was most appealing about my husband was that he was one of the few men I met who gave me this feeling of space… I could be Pooja around him!”
And really, this is what most women are seeking in their men today; just the opportunity to remain themselves. Agrees Ritu, “I want the freedom to keep doing what I love — reading, writing, composing poems. I don’t want someone to clamp me or my aspirations. I want a deep c o m p a n i o n s h i p, where we can enjoy the same things together. I want friendship, and passion — for each other yes, but that fizzles out, so passion for the same things in life…” Is that too much to ask for? To just let a woman be herself?
